The Very Model of a Modern Mary Sue
by pinfeather
Summary: An unnecessarily silly one-shot parody. No, really, don't read it. I'm sorry I ever brought this thing into existence.


**Chapter 1**

Hi! My name is Gwyndithia Theodosia Marithia Susanah Saffron Seawater Night Death Pinfeather Pepperment Lightning Storm Bird Tree Rock Dirt Smith-Jones Long but my friends call me Gwynditzy.

1 day I was waking along and I saw my refection I had beautiful purple and pink eyes and skin so tan it was almost burnt. I had white hair with natural highlights all the way to my hips, which were curvy but not too curvy.

Then I saw this guy and omg he was a minotaur. My friend yelled "Gwynditzy, catch!" and threw me a hairclip. I put it in my hair.

"Gasp!" I gasped. All a sudden I was wearing white leather jeans and a black tank top and seven-inch-tall hot pink high heels and my nails had been manicured. I gasped in surprise. I looked so hotttt!

My friend said "Gwynditzy, catch again!" and threw me a pack of cards. They turned into…

CLIFFHANGER!

Just kidding. They turned into… an iPhone! I put it in my eardrums and started playing Evanescence. Then I played Nickleback. Then I played Barney songs.

My frend said "Gwynditzy, catch!" and threw me a pen **(a/n: just like Percy!)** and it turned into a sword and I stabbed the minotaur with it. He roared and then he was dead.

**Chapter 2**

I went to Camp Demigod where we played Capture the Flag, but no one wanted me on there team cuz I didn't have a godly parent. I was so sad! They were so mean! I went and listened to played Metallica. And I put on a pink camp demigod T-shirt and white leather jeans and highheeled boots, but first I slashed the T-shirt all over so U could see my skin and stuff through it. I put on hot pink mascara and cried (**a/n cuz I was all sad, see?) **so it all ran down my face.

All of a sudden I looked up and there was a trident and a skull and a lightning bolt there!

Charon said, "All hail Gwyndithia Marithia Susanah Theodosia Safronn Ocean Night Death Pinfeather Pepperment Lightning Strum Bird Tree Rock Dirt Long, daughter of Poseidon, Hades, and Zeuf!"

I got to live in 3 cabbins! Yay!

I was happy now so I went and put on old green I mean greek armor and under it I put on white tights and a pink leotard and fluffy tutu an I put my hair in a big pink bow. And I struck fear in the hearts of mine enemies. **(a/n like I will strike fear in your hearts if U flame me!)**

**Chapter 3**

Everybody loved me cuz I was so pretty, but I knew I was really hideously ugly, cuz I was naturally modest and unassuming.

"Gwynditzy, u r so pretty," said Nico and he gave me all his marsmallows. "You are the best big sister ever"

Percy thought I was hotttt! He shaved his head in the letters "Gwyndithia Theodosia Marithia Susanah Saffron Seawater Night Death Pinfeather Pepperment Lightning Storm Bird Tree Rock Dirt Smith-Jones Long, ze love of my life" but he had to make them really tiny. **(a/n Perci is NOT OOC he always acts like this and if u think Im wrong U r a very dum dum person)**

Jason thought I was hotttt too, but he was in a different series so everyone ignored him.

I put on a short skirt and ten-inch high heels and did my hair up all nice in a green wig and put on white makeup and a red rubber nose. And I saved the world.

**Elipogeu**

Everyone loved me even more then and i married Percy and Anabeth and Rachael were so jealous :)! The End.

**Thank you. I'm Pinfeather and this has been an affectionate parody of the many—**

Do NUT listen to her she is NOTS!

**I'm sorry, please ignore Gwynditzy here—**

This is a GREAT story and U R not 1 of my friends so u cannot call me Gwynditsie!

**Oh, I'm sorry, Gwyndithia Theodosia Marithia Susanah Saffron Seawater Night Death Pinfeather Pepperment Lightning Something Something Blah Blah Pretentious Smith-Jones Long.**

Do not make fun of me! I blast U with my amazing powers! Blakrhiaphaffster!

**Oh boy . . .**

That's right! Cower before my mite!

**I feel like Victor Frankenstein.**

YEAH because U are an UGLY MONSTER!

**You know what? I'm ending the story. Right here. Right—**

DON'T U DARE

**I'll do it.**

NOOOO—

**The End.**

—OOOOO—

**The_ END._**

OOO—

. . .

**Much better.**


End file.
